In March 2017, I quit DJing and stopped producing electronic music.
It wasn’t a choice I wanted to make; it was a choice I made because I didn’t know how much longer I could keep living the way I was.

I was depressed, anxious, and panic attacks were a part of my almost daily life. I was smiling and telling people I was fine. But the truth: my life looked good from the outside, and I was always the life of the party, yet I was fucking struggling. If I wasn't anxious about the future, I was ruminating on the past, mentally beating myself up for what I did wrong (or what I didn't do right!), and nothing I did ever felt good enough. In short, my head was a mess, and I was battling an addiction that I kept passing off as “just having a good time.”

All of this meant focus and productivity were distant friends. My sleep patterns were fucked. I’d often crash late, wake up wrecked, and live on coffee just to feel human again. By night, I was winding down the “fun” way: a drink to take the edge off, which usually turned into two or more. My life was playing on a loop I didn’t like, and didn’t want to arrange.

Gigs most weekends meant more than a few drinks, a line of coke here, an ecstasy pill there; essentially any assortment of party drugs. This often resulted in losing a night (or more) of sleep. I’d make promises to myself on Monday that I couldn’t keep by Friday: “I’ll have a quiet one next weekend…”

(Yeah, like how many times have you said that to yourself?)

I was constantly on the go, always getting shit done, but not actually getting anywhere. Producing my own music was supposed to be the focus, but sitting down in front of a blank project (or returning to a half-finished idea) felt like walking into a storm of self-doubt. I’d tweak a bass line or my drum group for hours, chasing perfection, never satisfied. Tracks got finished, eventually. But nothing I did ever felt good enough.

My mind and body were at breaking point. I’d “pushed through” for long enough, something had to give.

So I walked away. I sold my DJ gear, my speakers, audio interface & MIDI controller, uninstalled Ableton, and stopped paying a monthly subscription for samples. Beatport & Soundcloud became distant friends. The hard drive of half-finished tracks were put aside. I let go of the dream I’d been holding onto since I was a teenager and focused on getting my head (and my life!) back together.

Truth be told, I walked away not knowing if I'd ever return. But deep down, I had a feeling I would. How and when was uncertain. I simply had to trust that walking away now would eventually lead me back to the thing I loved most.

I didn’t know it then, but that was the start of a seven-year journey of healing and rebuilding. It wasn’t until early 2024 that I stumbled back into music, almost by accident.

My life now is completely different:

I’m focused. I’m productive. I’m fucking happy.

I hardly drink. I can have a couple socially, and maybe every few months I’ll treat myself to a night out; almost always out of choice, not because my rubber arm got twisted and I found myself doing lines off a stranger’s kitchen bench at 6am (because let’s face it, we’ve all been there!). I'm back in the studio with a clear mind, rebuilding everything from a grounded space.

I’m sharing this story because I know I’m not the only one who’s faced these challenges. And I’m also open and honest enough to say that I’m not perfect. I’m not the guy demanding you go sober (unless you truly want that for yourself). I’m the guy that’s been able to turn his whole life and headspace around without medication and without having to swear off everything for good.

Many of us got into electronic music because of those unforgettable nights out, when you saw your favourite DJ play and ended up kicking on, watching the sunrise with a new best mate you met on the dance floor. It connected us to others in ways we’d never experienced before. It gave us a space to release, to have fun, to let go. It healed us. Electronic music simply became the soundtrack for memories we’ll never forget.

Do I personally believe in never experiencing that again? No. But if it’s happening more than you’d like? If your lifestyle is impacting your ability to do what you want in your music career? If your consumption of alcohol and/or drugs is eating away at your mental & physical health? If you’re stressed, worried, anxious? If you sometimes wonder how much longer you can keep going on like this?

Welcome. This space has been designed for you.

I created the tonic because I know this: another plugin, another music production course, another hit record: none of this matters too much if the human behind is struggling.

I convinced myself for years that these were the missing pieces. When I get ______ then I’ll be happy. When I play at _____ venue, or get released on ______ label, then I’ll be happy. Yes, doing the work required to hit your goals is important. Celebrating these moments? Absolutely! But if you’re not right mentally? If your health is suffering? If you’re battling against yourself just to make it through the day, while barely managing to hold it all together?

That’s an insidious problem quietly destroying you.

You could even be playing your dream gigs, touring the world and releasing music on your favourite labels and still be struggling. Just because you’re killing it professionally doesn’t mean your head is in a good space. And let’s be honest: the typical lifestyle of a touring DJ doesn’t exactly scream “healthy” by societal standards.

Here’s what I learned: if your mind and body aren’t working at full capacity, i.e., if you’re running on empty, edging closer to burnout, addicted to alcohol or drugs and somehow finding the willpower to keep pushing through, it’s a sign your approach to your music career isn’t sustainable. It might be effective, but without an able body and mind, it’s always going to be an uphill battle.

This website and community (with big dreams of becoming a full-blown publication; declaring it now!) is for what happens behind the scenes. You know, when the music stops, the lights come up, and everyone goes home. Including you.

This is not about the technical side; there are already some amazing humans covering that ground. No, the tonic is about your mental, emotional, and physical health and well-being: the thoughts that creep in when no one’s around, the comparison spiral, the self-doubt, the “am I good enough?” loop, the social anxiety, the drug and alcohol use that you claim is just having fun, but in actual fact is controlling you more than you’re controlling it. Essentially, it’s about addressing anything and everything that eats away at your mental, emotional, and physical health and well-being. Anything that prevents you from playing and creating electronic music with ease.

This is what the tonic is really all about: your health and well-being as an electronic music producer and DJ. I’ll show you how to take care of your mind and body so you can pour more of yourself into what you love, have the energy and focus to create, and sleep well (even if it’s just for a few hours before hopping on another plane). It’s about finding happiness that isn’t tied to your next gig, record release, or a night out with your crew.

Ultimately, this is about the space between the gigs and the studio sessions, learning to put yourself first so you can have a long, fulfilling career making and playing electronic music.

I’ve lived both sides of this: the chaos and the clarity. I know what it’s like to burn out chasing the next high, and I know what it’s like to rebuild from the ground up. I’ve been behind the decks at 4am, and I’ve also been the one who had to walk away for my own survival.

And with nearly two decades of experience in training, coaching, and mentoring, I’m here to help you navigate it too. What I share isn’t just theory; it’s lived experience. My hope is to help reshape the way that electronic music producers and DJs navigate their inner journey so they don’t burn out, quit, or lose themselves in the process, while also giving our community a space to talk openly about the challenges that so many face, without judgement.

Welcome to the tonic.

We’re entering a new era of electronic music. An era where artists prioritise their health just as much as their music.

HEADROOM enters the chat.

Every week, I share insights, stories and practical tools designed to help you stay focused on what matters most: your success, your well-being, and your longevity in the electronic music world.

This isn’t just a newsletter. It’s a shift away from burnout-as-normal, andthe beginning of a culture where artists finally put their health and happiness first.

If you feel the industry is ready for an upgrade, and you want to be part of the culture that combine well-being with electronic music, then you’re in the right place.

Join HEADROOM below.Because the world needs your music, not you burning out. Let's build the future of electronic music together.